Contentment

Well as most of you know and as you can see from my blog, I usually do not update often or with many words. This blog's purpose for me has been more of a photo gallery for Carson for out-of-town family and friends to enjoy seeing him grow. Today, I just felt like I want to type a little blurp on contentment. This has been something God has been trying to teach me and my heart has been yearning for a while now. I read a verse this week that talked about having stillness and quietness in your soul and it has been in my mind all week. (Ps. 131:2- also about a weaned child which has been at the forefront of my mind and heart for the past 2 weeks.) Today, I wanted to just take a deep breath and enjoy my day...not frantic about what I needed to get done, in what order and by what time but just enjoy a day off from work at home with my boys! As Larry has pointed out before, I get stressed about being stressed and I simply DO NOT want that to be the character trait that come to mind when people think about me. Beyond that vain motivation, I hate the feeling of an anxious heart and know that it is unbiblical. Finally, as I was holding my sick but precious baby boy in my arms tonight I realized, he is watching me and the last thing I want is for his life to be lived in the wake of a frantic, anxious chaotic stressed out mom! I desparately want for him to have a still and quiet heart of calm, trusting, peaceful contentment. Sure, most 1 year olds are anything but calm...I'm not talking about his behavior as much as the state of his heart and mind. I desire for him to have a deep seeded knowing that his mom and dad love him and that he is safe, provided for, cared for and he can trust us. Hoping that it will then translate into knowing he can trust his heavenly Father for all the same reasons - as He can love and provide for him so much beyond what we can even do.

As sentimental as I have been over him turning one and the growing up (and weaning) that comes with that, I am realizing all the more to cherish every single solitary moment with him!!! Listening to so many sweet friends talk yesterday about taking there "babies" to their first day of school, I am reminded of how quickly the days and now years do and will go by...cherish the moments. Like today, I was trying to put away some laundry in Carson's room while he was supposed to be entertaining himself with his toys as he usually does quite well. Since he has not been feeling well the past few days, he has been much more whiny and clingy and was just at my feet the whole time fussing. Finally, I put it all down, picked him up, rocked him and played with his farm toy then proceeded to plop on the couch with him and turn on cartoons. It felt so foreign to me and that broke my heart! I thought to myself, this is the type of moment you have always dreamt of...having a child of your own, cuddling on the couch with cartoons on. I've been so caught up in wanting the "always picked up and clean house" and the "no TV til their 3" and "they need to be independent enough to entertain themselves" mentality that I often fail to fully embrace the moments that he just needs his mommy to stop everything and hold him. period. And tonight as I was feeding him his bottle before bed, he fell asleep in my arms...usually, I'm thinking about getting him down quickly so I can be productive during his sleeping hours, veg a little, or "gotta put them down before they are fully asleep or they will always expect to be rocked" thought...but tonight, I set there in that rocking chair with my baby boy and cherished hearing his breathing in my ear, feeling his exhausted head on my shoulder...knowing that these moments are fleeting...I wanted to take a mental picture and never forget it. Oh how good The Father is! So much better to me than I deserve- praise Him for grace- undeserved favor! Thank you Father for the blessings! May my heart and soul be quiet and still before You as I trust You and find contentment in You alone!

Say Cheese!

I may be a little partial- but can he get any cuter? I mean really?! Thank you Uncle Brant once again for some incredibly cute pictures!!

Birthday pics with Uncle Brant

So loving these!!! Cannot decide which one is my favorite!!!

It's party time

His monthly "rocking chair/watch me grow" picture


Enjoying his birthday cake (he ate little small bites for about 30 minutes!)


Helping Poppa put together his wagon at his family birthday party


Cake covered "OH" face!

Carson and Friends!

From left to right: Jaxon Meredith, Beckett Rogers, Mallory Cloud, Madison Freyaldenhoven, Sarah Grace Larkin, Carson, Caroline Larkin, Jace Akin, Riley Davis, Macy Cloud, and Bennett Oliver (Owen and Olivia Hill were present but unfortunately not pictured).

ONE YEAR

CARSON JACK WALKER

Born August 3, 2009 at 4:24am weighing 7 lbs and 1 oz. and 20.5in long

Carson so excited to celebrate his 1st Birthday!!!

It seems impossible to believe that our sweet baby boy has turned ONE! This year has been one of the most exhilarating and life changing years of our lives. It has presented a few challenges along the way but many, many, many joys and blessings! We have watched our precious baby boy grow from an infant totally overwhelmed by his bright new world to a curious happy boy who loves life and can put a smile on anyone's face. He greets us each morning with a smile, ready for another fun-filled day and goes to bed peacefully each night exhausted from everything he has learned that day. I simply cannot imagine my life without Carson...and even though he has only been with us for one year, it is hard to remember life before him. His smile, laugh and hugs melt my heart everytime! Thank you Lord for our precious son! Thank you for choosing Larry and I to be Carson's parents! May we raise Him in Your Ways and may he continually be full of Your joy, contentment, love, and peace.

Now for the milestones...at 12 months (the point at which we sort of switch to referencing his age by years instead of months...)

-He has a big smile

-Is full of hillariously animated expressions (especially the "OH" face)

-Sweet to give cuddles

-Quick to investigate how everything works

-Easily entertained by anything that makes noise/music (loves to "play the drums" on anything and bounces up and down to the music...especially his toy that plays the "ABC" song)

-Had his first major case of separation anxiety/mommyitis at the time of the move (big changes+Bebe being gone+ear infection=cranky/clingy Carson) Thankfully it only lasted 2 weeks and then he was back to his easy going, fun-loving self!

-Crawling quickly all over the house and finally up on all fours instead of the army crawl.

-No signs of walking yet, but pulling up to things much more!

-Wearing size 12-18 month clothes

-Has 6 teeth (top 4, bottom 2)

-Weight and length to be determined at his 12 month check-up this Friday (my guess is 22.5lbs)

-Enjoying a wide variety of foods...although he does not love his sippy cup yet (it is growing on him though)

-Tried whole milk for the first time yesterday (didn't bother him at all- didn't seem to notice or care the difference)

-Waving consistently, still loving to clap and make the "Indian sound"

-Loves sitting in his rocking chair (the one in the birthday pictures) and looking out his big window in his room...he sat there for a good 45 minutes watching the tractor out front dig while placing a gas line and then again when the sod was laid.

Thank you to all of our family and friends who love Carson and have invested his life over the past 12 months! I cannot adequately put in to words how much I appreciate your kindness, guidance, selflessness, and love! You all have played a major role in allowing Carson to grow and thrive in a secure, safe, fun and loving environment whether he is at home or not! For that, I am so appreciative!

Happy Birthday sweet baby boy!!! I love you!!!

Major updates...all in order

As you can see from the posting dates...it has been over a month since my last post! And of course it has been one of the most important/busy months of updates...things that are definitely "blog-post worthy." So without further delay, I will try to capture the past month for all who are interested. On July 18th, we moved in to our new home!!!! The home building process took exactly 4 months to complete and although it was a bit stressful at times, it really went much smoother than I had prepared myself for. And in answer to our prayers, our marriage survived what we hear can be one of the biggest tests of your relationship (hahaha) and we even came in on budget! Praise the Lord! Now, 3 weeks later, we are still sorting through, cleaning out, unpacking, etc. but have settled in fairly quickly. Sorry I don't have a final picture of the outside...that will come...sod has been laid and fence is up...landscaping to come. And yes, the move happened while my parents and brother were in India visiting my sister! Good times!

Then, on July 26th, Larry and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary! Given the chaos surrounding it and the fact it was on a Monday, we didn't get to celebrate with a date until later in the week at which time we romantically included our daily trip to Lowes. Don't get too jealous! Ironically, it is the only picture we have from our anniversary!

The biggest celebration of all came on August 3rd!!! CARSON'S FIRST BDAY!!!! This will get a blog post or two all of its own, but suffice it to say, we had a fantastic day with two super fun birthday parties! Our baby is growing so fast.....anyways, before we break out the tissue box, I'll wrap up the summary. On August 6th was my 29th bday, enough said- haha! Today is August 8th and I'm left to ponder/rejoice over all the many blessings the Father has poured down on us! And I'm longing for a few days of rest! :)

Our kitchen at move in time


Furniture in- YAY

Happy 7th Anniversary!


Carson enjoying his new view from his room :)